Thank you all for your lovely words on my last blog, a lot of you reached out to me sending encouragement, and that is very much what I needed. After some days to process things, I am able to see what was a bit of a bummer situation for what it is; a chance for growth, and not just for me.
Something that I will hold on to is the understanding that it is okay to feel the overwhelm sometimes. I follow my blog analytics and it's very clear to me, that most that read my blog, aren't daily readers; I'm still working on you all. :) So those that read a blog here and there, may not understand how much I am a believer in sitting in your shadow. It's important work. The darkness brings me the vast majority of growth, it shows me the world without the rose colored glasses. Another thing you may not be aware of is, that while I may have a day that I do just sit on the floor and allow my dogs to lick my face and cuddle me; it's not how I spend the bulk of my shadow work. I'm there searching for the lesson, the understanding, and fighting my way back to the light.
I've received mixed responses when I share my views on "not setting up camp"in the darkness. It's because there is no fixed "how long to experience your darkness" that goes across the board. If someone tries to tell you there is a rule to this, I promise it's their own personal rule. It's a very personal experience, and while some do like to set up camp and spend several months there, I find too many blessings in my immediate surroundings for me to spend more than a couple of days. I hope you never allow anyone to make you feel less for staying true to you. If you need to set up camp, you do you boo.
So here's my take on shadow work. Typically I'm triggered to get there, my normal disposition isn't to sit and focus on the bad; so sometimes life has to throw something on my path to knock me down to the floor. It's important, because it's how I respond while I'm down there that is telling to how much I'm growing. It's easy to shine and be able to bring the magic when you're walking in the sun; it's how well you handle the falls that really shows you who you are. It's not always pretty, of course some days I think, "Shit, that's how I just responded to that, what's wrong with me?" That is not the importance of shadow work, and it's just a distraction to try to keep you there longer. It's an opportunity to use the negative for transformation. To stare at the darkness and say, how do I grow from this place?
Coming out of the shadow in dark times, isn't always an easy thing to do. It's hard for me not to think, well the world is literally staring at it's shadow right now; shouldn't I be hanging out in the dark with them? Again, it's personal, I am of course still concerned and tuned in to what is going on around me; but mostly my focus is on myself during these times. So often, I have to disconnect a little from the world. I know we are in days where our voices are needed, and it's truly important not to be silent during these times; but I also know there is a balance to this and if I need some separation it IS OKAY.
Ultimately I have found my shadow is often a reminder of my power. While I'm there seeing my truths, I am seeing the areas I need to grow, the areas that are still tripping me up; I also get shown the areas where the essence of me is coming out of the dirt and developing into a beautiful flower. Of course, studying soil the past two days, has me so focused on flowers I can't help but see myself as one, but it's that visual that reminds me of how okay it is to come out of the dark. To be okay with things not being exactly as I would want them, that if I trust and say yes to my own growth, my flowering essence will shine light for others to find their way out of the darkness too.
I'll write next week more on the IRS bonanza as it has the workings of opening me up and opening up some others directly involved in our lives. For now, I am seeing the end result, and am practicing grace with how the resolution unfolds. Bonus, I'm finally giving into organization, what you resist persists. I'm saying yes to growth.