My number one intention with things that I put out in the universe; whether it be my art or my writing, is that I want it to make people feel something. With that said, I do put in the work on my end to make sure the feeling I invoke is a positive one. I don't want to put out any more negative in our world; but that doesn't mean I don't feel it.
This isn't the first time I've written about this. Today while sitting and doing meditating I was sitting with what I was feeling this morning; which mostly to be honest was annoyed. So often you all see me on the other side of any negative emotion, because I do believe that it's our own personal choice how long we spend in these feelings.
I tend to do more journal work when I'm feeling this way, because I never want to put my annoyance on to someone else. I already do it to Steve often without intending to, since we feel each other's feelings so much; I don't want to do it to all of you reading this.
However, as of late I'm feeling called to show more of the real, so here I am writing a blog while still feeling a little annoyed. I sure as hell don't intend to stay here, and did work a lot of it out on the mat and cushion; and the rest will be taken out on dust bunnies & dog hair piles. I am mainly sharing this, as I cringe with every comment on how selfless I am, or how amazing, etc. I don't know if it's because I know I am as selfish as they come, and that yes I have my amazing moments, but also not so amazing; or if it's because often I see these people comparing themselves to me.
Then I'm put on a pedestal, that I don't belong on. When you're comparing yourself to me just know that mostly the only difference between you and I, is that I work through the anger/annoyance/bitter/jealous/etc mostly with myself and not with a facebook post (anymore). I still complain that I had to stay up past my bedtime for a baseball game, that suddenly mattered to Steve. I complain about how people focus on things that to me don't matter as much as...say our planet. I complain about that nurse that made that error, still, to whoever is at the house listening to me.
I'm not perfect, and I hope this blog allows you to take me off that pedestal, and bring me back down to your level. I'm on the same level as you, and if you think anything about me is amazing, it's because you have that in you as well. Just don't forget the not so "om" like characteristics, they are still there too.
In my journal I have a list of things to write on, but to me I feel like this might be the most important blog I could ever write. It's not because I am on thousands of different pedestals, but because we all have someone up on one; when they don't belong there. In this social media world, it's easy to feel like we aren't enough compared to someone else. We aren't thoughtful enough, smart enough, pretty enough, doing enough, talented enough, ....
If you can learn anything from me it's this; you are enough. Your are amazing. You are capable. YOU are important. Put that focus on you, and not comparing you to someone else; and watch how much you will soar. I promise even Beyonce has moments of feeling like she doesn't compare, but I assure you she works through that and that's how she produces magic. What magic are you blocking? I know you have it in you, and I can't wait to see what it is!