Steve's choice, not yours.

I knew at some point I was going to have to write this blog.  We now live in a world where people feel the right to speak their opinions on everyone's lives without reason or second thought.  The thinking of "is it kind or loving," doesn't cross most people's minds anymore.  Because of that the more you put your life out there, the more you become inundated with unsolicited advice and opinions.

So as a caregiver for a terminally ill patient, I know I am not speaking for just us, so yes if you resonate with this, by all means let me be the voice to stand up for you and your loved one. 

Almost every hospital visit I will get a few comments something along the lines of, "You need to let him go." or "Have you given him permission to stop suffering?"  Some say it in a message, or doctors in a casual conversation, and then some are so bold to comment it flat out on social media.

So often I wonder that if these people who are putting so much thought into our lives and decisions, even take a second to look inward and see what work they need to do.  As I sit and watch my husband choose to fight for our life together, I'm endlessly amazed and grateful.  Despite my extreme gratitude for his fight, it's also very clear that this is his fight.  He runs this show.  How beautiful right?  He gets to choose, and everyday he chooses life.

For those of you are misinformed: While Steve may suffer and have days where he feels awful, he has an equal amount of days were he is full of joy, laughter, purpose, life, love, visits, etc.  He is getting to watch his nieces and nephews grow up, he's getting to watch his friends fall in love and become parents, he's getting to watch me grow right before his eyes, and he is able to witness the impact he has on this world farther than you or I could ever comprehend. 

Whether in a struggle or on a good day Steve is serving a higher purpose than most could ever understand.  While his smiles may take effort as he looses muscle control, they are genuine.  Steve chooses this life, because he sees life as a gift, and one that if you can withstand the suffering the blessings will more than make up for them.

I'm not asking everyone to understand our journey, because we all have different views on life; it's what makes this world so special.  However, what I am asking is, for those maybe not so strong in where they stand, stop putting your stuff onto others.  Our life isn't for you to decide the direction.  In fact it's not up to you to dictate anyone's life.  Ever.