Here borrow my lighter.

When's the last time you complimented someone? Not just liking a photo on instagram, or expressing hair envy, or talking about that outfit being on fleek (say did I use that right? Look at me I'm hip. ;)) Those are all nice and everything, but what about soul compliments.  Like, "Hey you know you're a really good communicator, I appreciate that.", or, "You are capable of changing the world with a brain and heart like yours.", or, "You are really creative and talented.  I hope you know everything you do is magic."  :)  

Have you ever wondered what our world would look like, if we handed out genuine positive feedback like we do with negative.  I believe there's always a place for the negative feedback, but in so many circumstances that's all I see some people doing.  BALANCE.  How many times will I write about this word in my blogs.  I should actually start logging it.  Because, if we could start to truly look for the good in people it will change the world.  

Let's use me as an example.  I was beat down in grad school.  My professors all had me to believe I wasn't capable of pursuing what I had decided was my life's purpose (be a counselor), and really that I wasn't capable of much of anything really.  Our last year, we attended an internship, and after a month spent with my new boss, he called me into his office.  I was so sure he was going to remind me of my flaws when he started, "I notice you have very little confidence in yourself, but now that you've become comfortable around me I can get you to open up.  During conversations about cases you're more insightful than colleagues I've worked with for years, but around anyone but me you freeze up. What if you just gave yourself permission to see if you can do this, because I believe you can.  In fact I see you as one of the more influential therapists of our time, if you can do some work on yourself."  

In that very instant my boss changed the course of my life.  With simply him taking the time to see past the layers of the negative to see the light in there.  Everyone of us has a light inside of us, and some just need a reminder.  What if we had told some of those acting out in violence what was good inside of them?  Do you think they would have still committed the actions?  Maybe?  Maybe not, in my mind I would guess half of them could shift back.  

So I ask again, when was the last time you complimented someone?  Because, maybe it's time. Maybe it's time to shift someones life back in the right direction.  We are all in this together, we are all capable of love, and we are all capable of changing someone's life for the positive.  

Let's light each other's candles again.