don't forget you have two wolves....

I can't possibly have to mention more innocent lives being lost AGAIN, really can I? Sad. sad. sad. I don't understand what's happening, but I will continue to ooze love to the world and hope one day everyone truly sees how violence isn't the answer. 

Today's blog is something I hope will resonate with a lot of people, and can maybe help rid some hatred around the world.  I only decided yesterday that I wanted to write on it, so it's pretty raw thinking here. 

This past week I told 3 separate people, something I had finally fully admitted to myself, and their responses were each the exact same.  Each person immediately hugged me after I was done talking, and thanked me for sharing because they struggled with this also.  By the time the 3rd hug was over, it became very clear I needed to write on this.

So here it is.

I have to put significant work in, every single day, to be a good person.  

Whether it's because of my path with caring for Steve, or my vocal love for the world, people assume I'm just naturally a good person.  I don't just wake up each day naturally with compassion, patience, and love; I have to choose it everyday.  I could just as easily give in to the anger or frustrations all the time, which some days I do, because that path is easy right.  Truly, it is easy for me to sit there and think about how unfair something is, and not try to change my outlook on things.  

However, that's not the person I want to be.  I want to be a good person.  I want to be kind and loving to everyone even if they maybe don't even deserve it.  I want to be patient every single time Steve needs me.  No matter what I'm in the middle of.  This is hard because when I get in the flow, any interruption frustrates me.  Steve on average needs me every 30 minutes.  Sure there are periods of time where he may not for an hour even two, but there are also those times where he needs me every 5 minutes, so yes average here.  

I want to be able to say, I don't get frustrated at my husband, who can't help that he needs me (I know I've written on this before stay with me), but it still happens.  I have to work on patience every single day.  I have a nice little mantra I use, "Stay with the now. Go with the Flow. Choose love and kindness. Everywhere you go." It helps me lots through the days, as I deal with whatever is coming my way.

Then there's judgement right? Oh it is so easy to judge someone.  So simple.  You are different than me, so let me judge you!  It's also easy to get caught up in that gossip judgmental chatting with your friends.  Because so many people do so many things different than us!  Again, not the person I want to be.  I experience my fair share of judgments from the world, because we are so open with our lives, and often when I find myself being judged, it's a nice reminder from the universe, of how much I fall into the trap.  

I could keep going with examples, but I think it's a simple concept.  It takes work to be a good person, and at the end of the day when you can look back and smile at your actions that day; it's always worth it.  If you're doing things that don't make you happy with yourself, know that it's normal; but please also know that you can change it.  I think we all just find ourselves giving up on self improvement because we have that dark side, we just don't think we can defeat it.  Truth is WE ALL HAVE the light and the dark, you just need to do the work to choose the light.  

So often people are asking me, "Hope what is this work you speak of?"

Here it is in simple terms.  I look inside myself and face my dark sides.  I become aware of the dark and I accept that it's there.  I then take time everyday to have a self care ritual, to do yoga, meditate, journal, pray, and set intentions on how I want my day.  Every single day I do it.  Often times I do a little mini moment of silence in the afternoon also on busy days.  If I do loose my patience, or snap, or find myself in a judgmental thought, i'll pause and reset.  It's learning to control your thoughts, the same as you learn to control your actions.  I also acknowledge the light in me, and allow it to shine. I remind myself of how capable I am all day long.  It's not just a morning thing.  All day long I say, "I am capable of choosing love, because I am love."  

Truth is, we all have both sides that's what makes us human, but we forget that we are capable of choosing which side wins.  It's like the native american story of the 2 wolves.  We all have 2 wolves (one good one bad) and whichever one you feed is which one wins.  

Are you feeling more and more hatred towards the world because of all that is going on, and forgetting that you have equal amount of love?  Are you feeling more and more anger because of a situation and forgetting how capable of peaceful resolution you are?  

We all are capable of being good people, I don't care who you are.  Some just feed the bad wolf, and some feed the good.  Which wolf are you feeding?